Messy and lost, yet, having no choice but to put myself back together and keep moving forward.
After day one, some more people left the crew too due to other reasons, not feeling sad but really busy about other things at the moment. So we got even fewer people, but a lot of stuffs need to be done, everyone who's still here are very hardworking and supportive, I own them everything.
We made it through the day barely. While I do not feel good on the stuffs I have shot. It feels like I was only executing things instead of actually shooting a film. I didn't put enough focus on the play by the actress, which made her feel lost too. I felt responsible for it and fear to let everyone down.
After the shoot, my emotion exploded out, after everyone have left, I cried like a baby... The things that made me feel heavy the most is I started off this thing for something I believe is meaningful and good for people, yet, just at the beginning I already have made my good friends suffer. Am I doing something worth it ?
It is a painful day which made me doubt myself deeply...
In The Middle Of The Land | Day Two